Holy S%#t… I’m Pregnant!

Holy S%#t… I’m Pregnant!

And what a whirlwind it has been! Despite having a five, almost six (!!!) year old, it almost feels like my very first time. There are vast differences from my first pregnancy and this go-around; the most glaringly obvious difference being my incredible partner that I have by my side. Becoming a new mother by myself compared to becoming a new mother next to my husband brings a wonderous new appreciation and excitement toward expanding my family.

While it was quite a shock to see the double-lined positive on the test, this pregnancy was far from unplanned. We’d been talking about our intentions to start a family for just shy of a year, and actively “not-not” trying for several months. It wasn’t until six or so months ago that we got serious about it, and boy, did our dream come true…

Continue reading “Holy S%#t… I’m Pregnant!”

Amazing Things My Kid Does

Amazing Things My Kid Does

Parents, isn’t is downright astonishing that we’ve managed to sustain humans of our own? Whether you gave birth to, adopted, fostered, took responsibility for, however you brought a child into your family, you’ve raised that human by yourself. And that’s pretty freakin’ cool. In the every day shuffle of routine, sometimes we go all day without noticing something adorable, innovative, or otherwise intelligent that our little humans have done, and even the amazing things we witness them do can go long forgotten. Here is a compilation of some of the cool, funny, smart, kind, and human things that my five year old has done…

Continue reading “Amazing Things My Kid Does”

Kid-Friendly Swear Words

Kid-Friendly Swear Words

I claim one of my finest parenting moments as nipping the whole “saying-bad-words” thing in the bud. Shore will not say any naughty words. I’m not sure why, but it’s one of those things that worked out for us the first time we addressed it. Despite his insistence to refrain from swear words, we still try our best to keep our language clean and clear of anything we don’t want Shore to repeat, because he definitely recognizes the bad ones when they slip out! (And he calls us on it… then spanks us.)

As a parent, my dialogue can get pretty creative and off-the-wall. I’ve said a lot of things I’d never say if it weren’t for having a child within arms reach at all times. And I’m not talkin’ only swear word substitutes. I say some outlandish, nonsensical things to entertain that kid. As for my substitute swear words, they’ve been spontaneously uttered at one point or another, and some simply stuck. Of course, new ones are spilling out on the daily, but here are some of my tried and true go-to’s:

Sheist! Ah, a Rachel Jones classic.

Fudge! Okey, we all know which one this is a substitute for. I use it. A lot.

Frick-frack Shore uses “fwickin” a lot, derived from the root word, “frick.” It mildly bothers me when he says fwickin, so I try not to use this one. I semi-scold Shore for saying it himself.

Shiiiiiii…take! You can probably guess my favorite real swear word. This one is a constant, since I can redirect my reflex impulse from s*%t mid-sentence, assuming I catch myself.

Poop nut This is, by-far, the family favorite. We all use this one quite religiously. Everyone’s a poop nut at least seven times a day. We have plenty of variations. Poop nut on a stick, poop nut head, poop nuts for breakfast, poop nuts for dinner… yeah, definitely one of our more popular substitutes.

 

What about you? Do you drop f-bombs in front of the kids? Do you have your own go-to swear word substitutes? Leave your own input in the comments!

It Was Always My Mom

It Was Always My Mom

I’d always been a die-hard daddy’s girl growing up. My dad and I were so much alike that our bond came naturally and with an ease that few daughters are lucky to understand. He was so cool. While my mom worked on the weekends, he’d take us to hole-in-the-wall diners with questionable sanitary conditions. Sometimes he’d take us to the flea market, give us five bucks, and let us loose. Most times we’d drive through downtown and settle at one of the parks for the day, or the giant water fountain if it was hot enough. Everything felt like an adventure when it was just us and our dad. He was the king of cheap thrills and he was always laid back.  Things were different with my mom around. As a kid, I remember her presence was more tense. She wasn’t going to bust balls to make it to my soccer game. She was always the anxious parent at the pool who’d conditioned herself to keep two eyes on six kids, or the frantic woman at the park who couldn’t relax; my little sister has a severe allergy to bees and my mom would be damned if the EpiPen wasn’t an arms length away. For many years, it was my dad I’d call to chat with, my dad I’d go out to dinner with, my dad I’d travel with. It was always my dad.

But I’ll never forget the day my relationship changed between my mom and I forever. I was 20 years old when I came home from work in a frenzy, tears flowing, my world shaking with fear and uncertainty. It was one of the worst days of my life. I ran straight up to my sister’s room and confided in her what I should have told my mom first. My mom had been on my tail as soon as I’d walked in the house, and I still remember her standing in the door way to my sister’s room watching me cry. Her eyes were big with worry, “what is it, Rachel? What’s wrong?” I told her, “I’m… pregnant!” followed by another round of convulsive crying. Her face relaxed slightly and she looked unconcerned. “That’s it? I thought someone died” she said.

Continue reading “It Was Always My Mom”

A Comprehensive Guide to Finding the Right Childcare

A Comprehensive Guide to Finding the Right Childcare

Step 1: Don’t listen to me.

We all feel like awful parents sometimes. As a matter in fact, a distinctive quality of a good parent is the inevitable assumption that we’re actually doing a shitty job from time to time. It sure isn’t easy raising a human, and it’s especially difficult having a career simultaneously. Many working parents have to entrust a downright stranger, at least initially, to care for their child while they work all day. Unfortunately, we haven’t had the most pleasant experience when it comes to finding childcare that we trust and feel completely comfortable with, while still offering our now 4-year-old son, Shore, an environment that encourages his growth…

Here goes.

It was Monday, February 6, 2017. Thus began one of the more stressful weeks I’ve had the displeasure of clawing my way through in quite some time. One thing led to another, and it gradually became worse and worse. Our rent was late (not for lack of funds, but bad timing and sheer laziness), I was distracted due to lacking connection and time spent with my husband, we joined our bank accounts -imagine the cause and effect for the changer (..me)- and on top of that, we had to find a new daycare for Shore.

Continue reading “A Comprehensive Guide to Finding the Right Childcare”