Parents, isn’t is downright astonishing that we’ve managed to sustain humans of our own? Whether you gave birth to, adopted, fostered, took responsibility for, however you brought a child into your family, you’ve raised that human by yourself. And that’s pretty freakin’ cool. In the every day shuffle of routine, sometimes we go all day without noticing something adorable, innovative, or otherwise intelligent that our little humans have done, and even the amazing things we witness them do can go long forgotten. Here is a compilation of some of the cool, funny, smart, kind, and human things that my five year old has done…
I claim one of my finest parenting moments as nipping the whole “saying-bad-words” thing in the bud. Shore will not say any naughty words. I’m not sure why, but it’s one of those things that worked out for us the first time we addressed it. Despite his insistence to refrain from swear words, we still try our best to keep our language clean and clear of anything we don’t want Shore to repeat, because he definitely recognizes the bad ones when they slip out! (And he calls us on it… then spanks us.)
As a parent, my dialogue can get pretty creative and off-the-wall. I’ve said a lot of things I’d never say if it weren’t for having a child within arms reach at all times. And I’m not talkin’ only swear word substitutes. I say some outlandish, nonsensical things to entertain that kid. As for my substitute swear words, they’ve been spontaneously uttered at one point or another, and some simply stuck. Of course, new ones are spilling out on the daily, but here are some of my tried and true go-to’s:
Sheist! Ah, a Rachel Jones classic.
Fudge! Okey, we all know which one this is a substitute for. I use it. A lot.
Frick-frack Shore uses “fwickin” a lot, derived from the root word, “frick.” It mildly bothers me when he says fwickin, so I try not to use this one. I semi-scold Shore for saying it himself.
Shiiiiiii…take! You can probably guess my favorite real swear word. This one is a constant, since I can redirect my reflex impulse from s*%t mid-sentence, assuming I catch myself.
Poop nut This is, by-far, the family favorite. We all use this one quite religiously. Everyone’s a poop nut at least seven times a day. We have plenty of variations. Poop nut on a stick, poop nut head, poop nuts for breakfast, poop nuts for dinner… yeah, definitely one of our more popular substitutes.
What about you? Do you drop f-bombs in front of the kids? Do you have your own go-to swear word substitutes? Leave your own input in the comments!