Love is Diving in the Ocean

In a long-term committed relationship or marriage, we inevitably experience ebbs and flows of shared happiness with our partners, balanced with shared detachment. Weeks will go by that I can’t seem to connect with my husband no matter how I try; other times, the connection comes so naturally and genuine and I’m not even sure what we’re doing differently. I try not to question that sweetness, and leave it alone to run it’s course, enjoying the most of that easy love while it’ll last. The gentle love keeps me going; the type of feeling that isn’t immediately at the forefront of my mind until I’m experiencing it in real time…

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The Curse of the Kinkeeper

Several weeks ago I came across this article about the maternal grandparent advantage and while it resonated with me, it also inspired me to return to another conversation that I’ve had many times throughout the years with my husband, close friends, and family: that of the kinkeeper.

Kinkeepers are those family members who provide tangible support for other members, nurture family history and tradition, and keep other family members connected. Often, this role falls to the female head of household or to the oldest daughter, although anyone can perform the function. – Carolyn J. Rosenthal

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The Truth About Letting Go

A couple of months ago, a person said some very hurtful things to harm me. This person shared their thoughts about me in an extensive conversation with my husband himself. For weeks, while several isolated attacks on my character were unfolding, the emotional pain I experienced quickly turned physical; my face would grow hot at the very thought of what was said about me and to whom, my posture would tighten and cause my spine to curl and lock, my heart would palpitate, and suddenly I would start to shake. This went on for weeks, and my hands are ever so slightly threatening to start shaking at this very moment, knowing that I’m going to publish my vulnerability for others to read. Alas, I remain calm…

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Why I’m Married to My Husband

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Above, and featured image: Michelle Joy Photography, 2016

The day my husband proposed to me was one of the most joyful days of my life. As I gleefully accepted, my heart was somersaulting in my chest and surely he saw the fireworks in my eyes. I walked around in pure delight after becoming a new fiancée, holding my left ring finger strategically so that anyone who was paying attention knew that I was getting married. The whole engagement thing is rather sanctimonious like that now-a-days. Alas, looking forward to the shameless Facebook announcement has become a highlight of the event in itself.

Once upon a time marriage was seen as an expectation; while in today’s society marriage is perceivably a bit less so. The marriage rate is down a little less than 20% from the 1950’s. Is that because gender roles have progressed, and men and women are considerably more independent from each other? It could be. Regardless, the concept of a modern relationship taking it to the next level is extravagantly celebrated. After all, it’s a unique, life-changing event, and despite the ~forever alone~ memes that circulate our social media feeds, the status is coveted, if not only for the sheer romance of sharing day-to-day life with someone they connect with. I consider myself a lucky one, because although our relationship hasn’t been effortless, we’ve persevered through good times and bad, and we’ve been watering our love fern together for almost four years…

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